The Catch 22 of Verbal Processing

Some people write. Others use mind maps. I come to conclusions by flapping my gums. I’ve learned I’m a verbal processor, and talking things out helps me form ideas. Only at the end of a conversation do I really know how I feel about the topic at hand.

But when I discuss an unprocessed idea, it rarely comes out well. The idea formation and clarification process is messy and non-linear.

What is great for organizing things in my mind is bad for my ability to communicate them. But in order to process well, I have to communicate poorly first.

If I just sit down and try to write an idea out, it rarely goes well. I end up bugging friends and family. I send it off to be critiqued at many points along the way, and generally find ways to engage any willing set of eyes and ears and mouths in dialogue about the topic.

And with that conversation comes clarity.

It’s almost a requirement that if I’m to come to a real conclusion about something, I must first bludgeon that thing (and the people in my vicinity) with waves of scatterbrained hullabaloo.

Anyone else on the same page?

I’m sure there’s some life lesson in all of this, but I’m not sure what. Let’s talk it out.

7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Often, I find myself believing that I feel one way on an issue…only to find out after talking or writing about it that I actually think another way. On my blog, I’ve probably deleted 30 unpublished posts because I realize that by the end of the post I’ve completely changed my mind.

    I feel your pain, buddy.

  2. Looks like we differ in the idea formulation process. I like to develop the concept or idea myself (perhaps to a fault) to what I see as the fruition and then “reveal” it and gather feedback. I probably lose some costly suggestions and feedback during the conception phase this way, but I like that the outcome is uniquely and undilutedly mine. Probably not the best way to do it but, just like the ideal government is a benevolent dictatorship, it’s a pretty efficient method.

  3. I’m typically a write-it-all-out or mind-map-it until I’ve exhausted myself; and by that time I, too, may have truly figured out where I stand on a topic and it often varies from where I began.

    I have a hard time verbalizing it before then because I have this thing about speaking about a subject without having my opinion fully formed or weighed out. I don’t like to retract things I say or risk offending someone because I didn’t think things through. Call it self-conscious, call it thoughtful, I don’t know. It’s likely the former.

    However, the times where I have started talking to someone about a subject I assumed I thought through, hearing their opinions really helped shaping my views in an unexpected way.

  4. I heard somewhere that you cannot totally understand something until you write about it. I don’t do that - I build Keynote slides (PowerPoint for PC user) around my ideas.

    First I find a photo I like. Getty images is great for ideas. Plug in a few relevant words and see what comes up. Rinse and repeat. Then I pretend I’m going to give a presentation on the subject. I’m a crazy visual person - if I don’t “see” it first, I cannot understand or explain it.

    Gnome sayin?
    (insert a picture of a gnome here)

  5. Oh ye, I’m with you Brent. I actually took one professional personality assessment that said it is my NATURE to want to say things in summary before prceeding. I love talking it out and then I have to summarize it to boot. The upside is, if I haven’t got it right, the person I’m talking to (or interviewing) has chance to say so.

    And I gotta say your process, be it what it is, works for you, Brent. I was so impressed with the high quality of the article you did for CUES a short while ago.

    (It’s here: http://www.cues.org/pls/cuesp/!cues1.main?complex_id_in=3069489.3071923.11264948.12060593.page)

  6. Jan

    I wish I was a gum flapper. I’m more of a word scribbler. When I try to talk my ideas, they don’t come out right and I sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about. But when I write them out…even better TYPE them out…my brain seems to go into high gear. If I tried to tell you what I just wrote, I couldn’t do it either. A person just has to find what works for them and use it to their fullest. Its not how you express your ideas, but what you do with those ideas once they’ve been processed and organized. Of course, I guess it never hurts to try to improve your weaker communication skill. I’m thinking that’s one reason blogs are so good…people can share their different ways of processing thoughts.

  7. Matt - On deleted half-written posts, me too! Self-edit is a hurdle to hurdle.

    Jason - You are the most benevolent idea-dictator I know.

    Josh - I think being hesitant to say things you’ll need to retract down the line is a responsible way to do it. Definitely more responsible than my approach, which tends to be find a friend and start with the “yadda yadda yadda.”

    Denise - I really like that. I think I may steal your approach and take it for a spin. I’m sure that has to do with why you’re such a great presenter as well.

    Lisa - “Summarize before proceeding” is a great way to say that. Also, thanks for like the CUES article. I loved getting to write it.

    Mom - Like I said to Josh, word scribbler is probably a more responsible approach. You’re right though, in the end it’s really about what you do with the ideas. My mom is a woman of action.

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